


Make Me Call Again (the Tell Me What I Want remix)

by myrifique



Category: Community
Genre: F/F, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-31
Updated: 2011-03-31
Packaged: 2017-10-17 10:25:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/175869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrifique/pseuds/myrifique
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jeff uses his awesome lawyer slash detective powers, and possibly gets more than he bargained for.</p><p>(Spoilers up to 2x08.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make Me Call Again (the Tell Me What I Want remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Make Me Call Again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/137478) by [summerstorm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerstorm/pseuds/summerstorm). 



> Dear Lix, I'm afraid I can't do your wonderful style justice, but it was fun to play in your universe all the same. Also it's unfair that both htbthomas and I got you and that her fic is so balls-to-the-wall amazing. (Although it is kind of funny that we worked on our stories together and that it ended up being for the SAME PERSON.) You are both the best.

"Jeff said he didn't care about us," Britta said, a hand on her thigh. She was wearing a very short checkered skirt, and her hand was playing with the hem, half-disappearing under it. It was mesmerizing.

"Oh, that's wonderful. It means I can finally do this," Michelle answered, as she grabbed Britta by the tie and dragged her up. Her mouth smashed on Britta's, who made a small moan in surprise. "Don't pretend like you were not wearing that slutty school girl outfit for me," Michelle added, and Britta smiled devilishly.

"I'll never say," she said as her hand wrapped around Michelle's breast, conveniently naked. They tumbled on the desk behind her and before long all Greendale echoed with their heavy moans.

And then Jeff woke up. "Well I guess I do care," he tells himself in the mirror, tilting his head in wonder. His reflection looks nonplussed.

\---

It's not like Jeff tries to make his delusional fantasy into a reality, either. He knows it's just a side-effect of his latent horniness - phone sex operators are just not cutting it lately. So, he doesn't try to hang out in front of Michelle's office, and he certainly doesn't follow Britta around when he notices that she's eating lunch away from them more often than usual.

He just happens to ask Britta casually about where she was at lunch, because she's her friend and he missed her. Which is totally normal and friendly and cool. And when she hesitates for half a second before launching into this tirade about a place with great veggie burgers - "because giving people the option not to _murder living beings_ just for their _own sustenance_ is something this cafeteria should seriously consider" - well, that just goes into the file.

Great. Now there's a file.

Britta doesn't help her cause, though. (Awesome, now it's her fault.) The one time she does deign to grace their usual table with her presence, she gets out some Greek food leftovers as her lunch. Jeff is reminded of a lot of nights hanging out at the restaurant Michelle co-owns, and of the way the dolmadakia exploded in bursts of savor on the tongue. Britta brings her own to her mouth, and oh, that's kind of a sexy food. Jeff clears his throat.

"I didn't know you liked Greek food," he says, his chicken finger suddenly less tasty.

There's the half a second pause again and Jeff almost winces, because seriously, this is almost too easy. "Yeah, there's a nice place not too far from home. It reminds me of my summer in Athens," and then she continues on talking about that, and Jeff seriously feels like she's filibustering him for the second time.

He's got to get himself together. Britta is her own person - a quite awesome person at that - not just a prop in a disturbingly recurring fantasy. Of course she's going to have interests, and memories of great trips around the world that she'll want to share. It has nothing to do with wanting to hide a great secret romance from the world.

Like that time when she obviously comes to the study group with the world’s worst hangover. It's probably not because she was out getting drinks with her teacher until late and then had sex with her all over the place. Because that would not make sense.

He manages to calm himself down over the next couple of days - or maybe Britta gets better at being discreet, now eating with them again more often than not - until the day that Britta comes to school with a gold star on her shirt. He spots it first thing in the morning and lets himself go crazy for all of five seconds - thinking about Michelle's head between Britta's breasts, and Michelle licking and sucking and caressing and Britta moaning and _Jesus Christ_ \- before getting his composure back. There's probably a rational explanation for it, right? Which is why he goes around school, asking other students about Michelle's class and whether any gold stars were involved. And then he learns that they weren't.

Which is when he starts hatching a scheme worthy of his days as a lawyer - where he made anybody confess to anything, including and especially things that never happened. Except this time, his evidence is pretty damning.

Step one: isolating the subject. It won't do to ask Britta about it in front of the group - he shudders at what Pierce would say. Especially at the fact that's it's probably similar to what he dreamed of last night. Anyway, he manages to rope Shirley into believing he's finally going to open up emotionally to Britta, and she giggles and gets everybody out of there in record time.

Britta doesn't comment on it when she sits down. She starts talking about some band that she hopes to get concert tickets to. He doesn't even pretend to be interested.

"Is that—" he starts, pointing at the star. It's sort of hidden beneath her leather coat, but she's close enough that he sees.

"What?" she answers, like she's just annoyed his hand is near her chest.

"Is that a gold star? Are you stealing pointers from my love life?" Step two: act condescending. Attack the subject to goad them into defending themselves, no matter the cost.

"I am not. It must have flown into my shirt in class—your ex-girlfriend threw a handful of them at us. Group project."

Jeff tries to refrain from cackling with glee— Britta mentioning Michelle right away probably skipped two or three steps then and there.

"Michelle threw gold stars at you."

"Yep. One guy got some stuck to his hair and nearly cried, it was a really stupid move. But then she did date you for a while, so I guess that's her MO."

Really, it's almost too easy. He beams. "She didn't."

"She didn't date you? Because—"

"No, she didn't throw stars anywhere. I asked around." It's risky to admit it, but his instinct tells him the suspect is far enough into defensive state not to throw it back in his face.

"You—did you just fake surprise at me?"

Well predicted. "Well, I am surprised you're borrowing tricks from things I told you. I thought you were independent and creative and full of original ideas."

Britta pauses for a second. "Yeah, well, I'm not. I saw these at the supermarket and I thought it'd be fun to use them. I will cut off your tongue if you gloat. It wasn't even your thing, it was Michelle's."

Oh, bingo. Jeff’s eyes widen in surprise for a second — he can’t believe this worked so well. Man, he’s still got it. He laughs at the idea before wheezing “Michelle?”

“Are you done?” She looks annoyed, but not particularly angry. He laughs some more and decides to go to the friend strategy first. Because it would be weird to ask if Britta had sex with his ex-girlfriend today. It would, right?

“I can't believe you're friends with my ex-girlfriend. That's even better than stealing tricks from me. Did you bond over how much you hate me?”

"Friends!" Britta says, grinning. It’s suspicious. So suspicious that he opens up the secretly-dating file and puts a big CONFIRMED in red print on it. (He needs to stop hanging out with Abed so much.) "Yes, as a matter of fact we did, do you have a problem with that?"

Okay, if she wants to play it that way, he can humor her for a while. "Britta," Jeff says. "You shouldn't have kept it a secret. I would have stopped laughing eventually. Okay, no, I wouldn't have. But you still should have told us. Why didn't you?"

Britta blinks, and takes way too long to answer. "No reason,” she says, her voice lingering on every syllable.

Never mind - if she’s not going to try harder than that, where’s the challenge? Jeff gestures at the gold star Britta flicked off to the side of her table, and then at her. "Oh, no."

"What?"

"You're—" Jeff looks around and lowers his voice. "You're dating Michelle? Are you crazy? She's your teacher."

"You're one to talk!" Britta says. Final step: the suspect, with all of his defenses up, will almost always forget he can deny.

\---

Knowing that Britta and Michelle are actually together sort of changes things. Jeff even has a couple of days where he wonders if he’s jealous — although he wouldn’t really know jealous of who. Jealous of the girl who’s dating his ex-girlfriend? Jealous of the woman who managed to get into Britta’s pants more than once? Jealous that they managed to make it work when the last time he tried to really be with someone, she dumped him after making him get Chubby Hubby for Law and Order night? It makes for a weird jumble of feelings.

He even gets a bit petty around Christmas. The Dean has this crazy idea to put mistletoe all around school, and he recruits Annie, obviously, who in turns manages to recruit both Jeff and Shirley. Jeff’s walking down the staff corridor when he stops in front of Michelle’s office.

They’re doing this for the secret, right? Because it’s a turn-on to be someone’s dirty little secret. It’s not like Britta and Michelle actually have anything in common. Except extreme hotness. Right? And as soon as the secret’s out, it’s all downhill from there?

And so he puts up some mistletoe right in front of the door. Of course Annie comes up beside him right at that moment, and she looks a bit hurt as she asks what he’s doing. He doesn’t think of a comeback fast enough, but Shirley just nods like she understands. Jeff sighs and tries to think it off, feeling ashamed, but Shirley stops him.

“Whatever has to happen will happen,” she says, sounding wise. She drops a hand to her belly and rubs it in circles absent-mindedly. Well. Like he needed to feel more ridiculous.

He makes it up for Britta, though. He covers for her increasingly often with the group, Abed often joining in - of course Abed would know. He doesn’t comment when Britta comes to school wearing Michelle’s clothes that one time - but he does join in when she arrives late and everyone starts speculating about her new boyfriend.

Plus, he doesn’t tell her about how he’s been dreaming of them again, basically every night now. He doesn’t ask her if she’s small enough to fit under Michelle’s desk and pleasure her while she’s grading copies. He doesn’t ask if he could maybe watch sometime.

It’s really the least he can do.

\---

“So, Michelle and I had the girlfriends conversation,” Britta starts one day. They’re both sitting on the study room couch. Britta made a big show of looking around before speaking.

“Wow,” he says, and he really means it. Maybe the secrecy isn’t the only thing keeping them together after all. (If he’s honest, he knew that already. It’s not outside the realm of possibility that he has a type.) “So I gather you two are doing great.”

“Yeah,” she nods with a soft smile.

He looks at her approvingly before asking, an hesitation in his voice “So, you never feel like she’s trying to change you?”

“Change me? Uh, not really, I don’t think? If you’re referring to calling myself her girlfriend, that’s—. Well.” She pauses and bites her lip. “Maybe a little, I mean, I haven’t been anyone’s girlfriend for a really long time.” She laughs a bit and shrugs. “But I figure it’s normal to work on a relationship you care about, right?”

“You are so totally the guy in that couple,” Jeff laughs.

“That is heteronormative and ridiculous,” she says, angry as usual. “And gross.”

“You keep telling yourself that when you buy her flowers to make yourself feel better about hesitating when she called you her girlfriend.” Britta blushes and he half-smiles. “How are the Glee kids doing, by the way?”

"I wouldn't know. The gay one said something about bisexuality not being real a few weeks ago. Michelle got angry and turned it off. Didn't hear of it since."

"That is so unfair."

\---

When everyone figures it out, Jeff just leaves it unfold.

\---

After that, Michelle makes it more of a habit to drop in on the study group, even though Troy looks afraid of her and Abed makes macaroni comments and Pierce just makes a lot of inappropriate jokes. It’s nice to get some of the post-I-love-you tension out of the way, and Michelle actually smiles at him now when they meet in the hall.

A month later, Michelle comes in to drop some of the Anthropology notes Professor Bauer left in the teacher hall.

Pierce seems to have exhausted his lesbian jokes. “When are you getting in the middle of that, Jeff?”

Britta starts harassing him at once as both Annie and Shirley gasp. As Jeff turns to Michelle to apologize, she winks. Then she mimes putting a phone to her ear and months “Call me”.

“Oh, it’s on,” Jeff thinks.

“There’s an 83% probability that she’s kidding,” says Abed, probably reading his mind.

“It will possibly one day be on,” amends Jeff.


End file.
